The Future ME

This is for all the overthinkers at 3am. A blog page with all the stories that make you finally feel seen.

Now, granted, I’m just a young man who grew up on the gritty council estates of Northern England, but I’ve got a mighty story to tell. These are stories that you wish you could share—ones you only have with yourself in your own head. It’s the wisdom you have been hoping for because you are all searched out.

THE EXTREMES

I grew up in a pub and by the age of 7, I had already been mixed up in things kids should never be involved in. By the age of 8, I had already been exposed to things children shouldn’t be exposed to, and I had been completely banned from my local martial arts club.

By the age of 10, I had witnessed what an abusive household looks like and mastered how not to choose which parent I wanted to live with every Saturday. By the age of 12, I was the sensei of embodying a frozen child while absolutely fooling the world around me while “surthriving.”

I had been a talented sports star and student, while watching it all disappear without a clue why I just couldn’t keep it up. I had been questioned during a serious criminal investigation, cheated my way through uni, and chased off every girl who loved me.

I moved to Australia to backpack and travelled with the Aussie carnival, slept in bus station toilets, and worked on building sites, but I still hadn’t mastered my panic attacks. I lived with fearful avoidancy in every aspect.

I lived in Dubai for 6 years where I finally worked out how to get out of poverty-turning £1k into £100k only to lose it all gambling. I nearly lost my life on a few occasions, once from nearly drowning and once during one of the darkest periods of my life mentally.

I must have had about 6 therapists. I have sat in the Amazon jungle with Ayahuasca. At 15, I was robbed at knife point and pissed my pants. I spent years bottling up my anger at my parents’ abusive relationships and the grief of what it had robbed me of.

The 3AM TRUTH

But from all this, I have mastered so much about life – about how the world works, its politics, how people are, and how we all live in fear. I have learnt how ordinary people build wealth after chasing it for years to finally feel some peace.

I have had to learn about addiction the hard way. I have started to learn how to feel my feelings and how to recover from OCD. I have dealt with autoimmune disorders and finally started to figure out how AuADHD has been running me.

Now it’s time to share it all with you so you have company at 3am.

Glad you’re here. Let’s get to work.

— FROM THE OTHERSIDE